A Look Back, A Look Forward

Hey again to all who still read this dusty old thing. I imagine that, since I have not updated in the last year and a half, no one even checks this anymore. But for archive sake, and to update those who still do, I think I will begin to post again.

I can't make this long, because I need to go to work in about 10 minutes. . I still work at SoHo, though I do not work at the nightclub anymore, and haven't for 6 months or so. The decision to quit was, fortunately, not pain-related. As for SoHo, I began to work breakfast shifts there about 2-3 months ago, and that is when my back problems really began anew. I will get into that when I have a bit more time.

D'nA (my company) is just now beginning to get off the ground a little. I really hope that I begin to make enough money from it that I can quit working part-time jobs with full-time hours and too much stress and pain.

See you in about 8 hours.

6 Months Later

If you thought not updating for 2 months was bad, I think I just topped it.

I have been doing quite well. Of course, I will never be 100% pain-free. But the day-to-day pain is not nearly as debilitating as it used to be. Which is a very good thing, in many ways.

I still work at the two jobs that I mentioned in the previous note; SoHo and Jokers. I have adjusted to the routine quite nicely. I have also started my own graphic design business, D'nA, with one of my friends. We have already begun working with some local bands to help promote them. Hopefully, this will be a good source of income for me.

I still do not have health insurance. This mainly affects my access to the hydrocodone I was taking to manage the pain. Therefore, I have not used hydrocodone for several months. I have wanted it a few times, but for my daily routine, I have sufficed with ibuprofen.

The last few days, I have been in a little more pain than usual. Only time will tell if this will be a regular thing. I hope not, but if it is, I will manage it like I always have.

The Return

I've been doing so well lately with pain. Tonight changed that.

I have a massive cramp in my lower right side of my back, which kind is creeping up the rest of my back. It's almost to spasm level. I have no idea what is causing it. Hopefully, it is just an isolated incident. The next few days will answer that question.

I have antibiotics for my budding sinus infection, and I bought a multivitamin. This is now what I'm taking daily:

Multivitamin
Iron Supplement
Zithromax (allergy meds)
Tri-Sprintec

Plus Z-pack (antibiotics)

As needed:
Hydrocodone
Cyclobenazpiene
Albuterol (inhaler for asthma)

Goodness.

Anyway, I took my hydrocodone, which is sort of working. I hope it does. This is the last thing that I need right now.

Yesterday, I had some pain, but not enough to really bother me. It was mostly evident when I moved in the wrong way; I felt little twinges of pain.

I'm getting sick again. I've been coughing (with substance) since last night, and I'm getting congested as well. It's probably going to lead to another sinus infection. Joy. I'm sure that all of this isn't helping my back, either.

I feel okay pain-wise so far today, but whatever bug I caught this time is running me down. I didn't go to t'ai chi, mostly because I don't think I could make it through an hour of working out feeling the way that I do.

Something I wanted to mention: there was a comment left on my blog explaining SRA in a lot more detail. I will post this in the main posts soon, but I want to do a little research, first. I hope to have that up in the next couple days or so.

The Third Day

Third day of my SRA thing today.

I went in feeling pretty stiff and sore. T'ai chi, and the walk to and from, really wore me out. That, combined with changing weather and stress, are a triple threat that takes a lot of willpower to deal with.

I had given the therapist the link to this site, and she checked it in the meantime. Not only did my x-ray help her out immensely, she was both impressed and excited that I've been documenting my story. Hearing that makes me very happy. If this treatment works, she believes that my story will help other people dealing with the same issues as I am. I am more than happy to contribute to furthering knowledge on this new type of treatment and the uses it has.

The pain didn't really come back until about half an hour after I left. Even then, it was fatigue pain for the most part, until about an hour ago. That, though, has a separate cause, since my back hurts when I get stressed, and I was under a great deal of that tonight. Hopefully, a good night's sleep will help that, as will turning in the project that caused the night's stress levels to peak.

Hopefully, I won't hurt much tomorrow. Publication design critique will be pretty much painful even without back pain.

Giving in

Most of the day yesterday and today, I've been really sore.

I think it's partially due to the fact that the weather changed so drastically. This has affected me before in a negative way, so it's a very good possibility.

I finally gave in and took some hydrocodone. I was so stiff and sore that I could hardly move. The high has hit me, so I may take it easy for awhile. If the pain goes away, I might try some t'ai chi to relax me a little. Or do some stretching, if I feel up to it.

I don't feel so bad that I broke my two week streak of no painkillers. I needed them, and that's what they're for. I have proved that I have the willpower to not take them all the time, so that's what matters, right?

I was going to go out tonight, but I'm too tired and sore to make it until 2. Another moment in the countless times that I've been restricted by my pain. Let's hope that these times continue to become less frequent.

I work tomorrow. Hopefully, I will do okay.

I've been pretty sore for the last couple of days. It almost overwhelmed me at work today, but I managed to make it through. I work tomorrow, too, but only for 3 hours or so, and then nothing after that. I'm looking forward to sleeping in a little and also resting my body most of the day. (My mind, however, will have to be put to good use)

Hopefully soreness does not interfere with my plans tonight.

I'm happy to report that there was none of the surface skin pain that I had the first time that I had the SRA treatment. I didn't really hurt much at all yesterday, but I did spend a good deal of my time sitting down. Today will be more of a test.

I decided to park in a lot south of campus and walk to all of my classes today, as opposed to driving to my first class and then parking. This is signifigant, because not only do I have to carry my work-out clothes with me all day, it is a long way to walk. Since I'm such a visual person, I took a map of campus and drew out everywhere I have to walk today:


Sorry about the crappyness, I didn't put much effort into it)

T'ai chi was a lot easier today, mainly because we didn't do those kicks that we did on Monday. We went over the forms we've learned so far, added one more, then he taught us meditation techniques. That was pretty cool, actually. I knew how to do what he was teaching, but I still enjoyed it.

Currently, I'm exhausted, but I'm not in a significant amount of pain. The pain that I have is the "after exercise" type, not the muscle cramp type. This is good.

I have a class, my internship, and then I work at Piazza at 5. The test of how the treatment is working will come then. Let's hope that I can continue the streak of not taking painkillers.

Second Day

I just recently got back from my SRA session.

The second one went about the same as the first one. I felt more relaxed after the treatment, certainly. It's too early to say whether or not I'll have the same pains as last time.

Right now, I'm sore, but I think that's more a factor of t'ai chi plus the appointment today. It's not the muscle cramp pain that I generally have. It's actually more like the pain you'd feel after a workout. Certainly not bad enough to cause too many problems.

I'm going to try to update this more. Especially if there are changes. I should probably try to document what hurts when and where and at what level of pain on a daily basis. In an ideal world, I suppose, but we'll see how that works out with the mountain of stuff I already do.

Update for sure, later.

Spinal Reflex Analysis (SRA)

Spinal reflex analysis, or SRA, is the technique that the therapist is performing. This is the description from spinalreflexanalysis.com:

"Where all other therapies currently focus on simple reflex reactions, Spinal Reflex Analysis (SRA) focuses on the ASR, the root cause of these reactions. SRA is a fast and extremely accurate system of identifying the involved axial spinal reflex and 'turning them off' through specific SRA based treatment programs."

Basically, she's working directly with the nerves to "turn them off". What this means is, my muscles won't hurt nearly as much. I also think that it will prevent them from getting to the pain stage so easily.

I have only had one treatment, which was last Friday. I didn't say too much about it then, mainly because I wanted to have the information in once place. I did find the one site dedicated to SRA, but i didn't find a whole lot of information besides that. This is a new treatment, so I'm really not that surprised. I will post the link in the sidebar and try to describe it as best I can.

She places her finger on a specific nerve, in a specific pattern. To begin with, the pain level is about a 4 or so...just under flinching away stage. She keeps her finger on that place, and asks me to move my eyes in a certain pattern. The way she explained it to me, moving the eyes stimulates the nerves in your brain, and the pain gradually fades to nothing. She continues this through a certain pattern for about an hour. I looked for a graphic of this on the internet, but I didn't find one in the couple minutes that I looked. I will try to get the copy of the one she gave me on here eventually.

When I went in last week, I was really sore and really tense. When I left, I was pretty relaxed. That night, and the next day, my muscles felt okay, but my skin was really tender. I think it might have something to do with the release of lactic acid and other chemicals from my achy muscles. My eyes also hurt a little, I'm assuming since I moved them around so much. We will see if this happens again, and if that reaction is normal.

I have not taken my painkillers for a couple weeks now. Not that I haven't been in enough pain to take them: I have. But I think that my t'ai chi, combined with the SRA is helping me to remain relaxed enough to keep the pain at a bearable level. I hope this will improve over time.

My second SRA appointment is today. I'll post sometime after that.

Solution, please.

A few things to say.

First of all, I managed to land myself a job at a local mexican place. It's a fast food job, meaning lots of standing and lots of moving. We all know what that means for my back.

So, knowing this, I took my hydrocodone in advance today. That got me through my shift, no problem. The problem happened tonight, when I decided not to take a second dose for when I went out to karaoke.

I was fine for the first couple hours. The pain came on slowly, almost so I began to ignore it. However, it has grown into a beast which I can hardly deal with. I barely kept my composure at the bar, and certainly lost it when I got to my car. The drive home was torturous, as well. Even sitting here is pretty bad.

I guess tonight is an example of exactly how bad this gets. Especially when I choose to bear the pain. I've said before how much I want a solution, and this just cements that so much more.

So now, once again, I wait. For relief, and maybe some pain-free sleep.

Familiar Path

It's painfully obvious that I haven't updated in awhile. I really don't have that much to say.

It's been about a month or so since I finished my traction therapy. I can now tell that it hasn't really done much to help me out. I'm not terribly surprised, since traction is focused on the lumbar vertebra, which, I have stressed many times, is not the location of the majority of my pain. It seems that, once again, the red herring of my herniated disc ruled out the thoracic pain around my curve. They even said that "Sometimes the nerves that the disc pinches can cause pain in the upper back, too."

Do any of these people really listen to what I say?

To their credit, they gave me exercises to work on my mid-back. However, they're difficult to do on what I have at home, and my back hurts a lot worse after I do them. I've tried to keep up on them, I really have, but when I'm already in pain before I start, it makes the prospect of continuing to aggravate it less than appealing.

So, where am I now? Right back where I started. Taking painkillers and living every day in fear of hurting myself. Truly, that expensive and risky surgery is possibly the only solution, and that won't be possible again for at least a few years.

In the last few weeks, I've had to take my painkillers almost every time I've gone out. It only continues to get worse. I guess all I can do now is continue to live as best I can.

And wait.

Big Traction and Intimidating Equipment

My day started just the way I suspected it would: in pain. I brought it on myself, since I decided to go knee boarding yesterday. I still believe it was completely worth it. Most of the pain has ended up in my arms, which doesn't surprise me in the least.

So, as I proceeded to get up and take some of the usual painkiller, I realized that there was a little pain in my back, but certainly not as bad as the aforementioned arm pain. And not as bad as a usual work day.

So, I had a pretty good idea where this place was that I was going when I left this morning, but apparently, not a good enough of an idea. In true Amy fashion, I managed to get myself lost. The problem was...I went way too far down Ridgeway. Figures. After a phone call to the office and some directions, I managed to find the place. And after I circled the building, I managed to find the entrance. And after I walked down the wrong hallway, I managed to find the right area. I was embarrassingly 15 minutes late for my appointment, but at least I won't get lost again.

They started off my therapy by laying on a heat pad, which felt amazing. The physical therapist came in and started asking me questions, then finally explained what traction really is. I'll get to that later.

They then took me to the traction machine. This is a rather intimidating-looking piece of equipment. They put two harnesses on me, one around my hips, and one that went the whole length of my back. I was then attached to the machine. This is where it all got kind of medieval. Traction works by stretching your back. Which means...the attach the harness to one end of the machine, which pulls with a certain weight. There are padded posts under your arms, which holds your upper body in place. You are then told to relax as the machine pulls for 60 seconds, then releases for about 40 seconds or so. Rinse and repeat.

All of this is well and good, except for the nerve in my lumbar region that got pinched somehow. The pain started about 10 minutes in, and by 15 minutes it was so excruciating that I couldn't take it anymore. They had to take me off of the machine. They think the cause was the lumbar cushion was inflated too much. In my next appointment tomorrow, they're going to lower the pull weight and deflate the cushion a little. I really hope it works.

All of this is for my lower back, which for some reason, they think they need to do this for. My herniated disk has always been a red herring of sorts: a lot of people focus on that and not the more painful scoliosis pain. I brought this up, and as I suspected, they were focusing more on this less painful area of my back.

My session finished with a 15 minute relaxation time on some cold packs and electrodes. It helped a little.

Tomorrow we are also going to start some exercises with a ball for my scoliosis pain, while continuing the traction for my lower spine. They are also going to continue the electrode therapy. We'll see if the traction goes any better tomorrow.

A New Course

I decided to try other options than surgery. Now just isn't a good time anymore.

The surgeon prescribed a type of treatment called "big traction". I'm not really sure what it is. I have my first appointment at 10 on Tuesday, so I suppose I'll find out then.

The next option is cortisone shots. I guess these last for about 3 months. The downside is possible hormone imbalance. Fun stuff. I guess we'll have to see if it gets to that point.

I guess I'm going to try everything there is to try to relieve this pain. If these options don't work, then I will reconsider surgery. Although at this point, I'm not really sure when that would happen.

Continuation

I'm on my second dose of hydrocodone today. Wonderful.

I still have 3 more hours to work. I think I'm going to go lay down on a couch until I start again. I just really want this day to be over.

Drawing the Line

I've realized lately that I've come to a decision I've had to make before. That decision is: How hard do I really push myself?

I've had a love/hate relationship with work pretty much throughout college. Mostly hate. But since I'm mostly supporting myself, I really need to work. All of the jobs I've had involve standing on my feet, which, of course, begins to affect my back. Most of this school year, I've been struggling to make it through over 4 hours of work without some sort of pain. This week, especially, has been tough.

So, how much should I really work? How much is too much? I'm pushing that limit right now, and I have a feeling that I'm about to find it again. I've been at my limits before.

So, as I go in for an 8 hour work day, I guess it's something I'll really have to keep in mind. I've picked up several extra shifts already, and I'm considering more. I know certain people will tell me not to push myself, but I hate being indebted to someone else. I want to be able to live somewhat normally, and I guess that's a big reason I'm having surgery.

Set in Stone

My surgery is May 23rd.

I will be in the hospital for about a week, then I will be going to stay with someone, probably my mom. After that, I should be coming back to CF. If anyone wants to visit, I will be eternally grateful to you.

Now that the ball is rolling, I feel a bit apprehensive. But you better believe that I'm glad about it. In what seems like a push for the decision, my back hurt today. A lot. Almost unbearably.

This went will change my life. Bring it on, I'm as ready as to can be.

Willpower

I'm in pain again today.

It's mostly my upper-middle back, but my left leg hurts, too. I really hope I can get through this day without painkillers, but I honestly don't know. I don't have to work, so that may help, but it's getting really bad. Plus, I have to walk everywhere today.

It's now 9:30. Lets see how long my willpower lasts.

The Come Back

It's days like this that make me want to do something about this condition.

I was in a great deal of pain earlier. So much so that 2 hydrocodone didn't take care of it.I'm okay now, but it hurt very badly while I was at work.Not only my back, but all the way down my right leg and my left knee. All of my usual pains, but at once.

I'm high right now, and I don't like it. Better than debilitating pain, I suppose.

I'm very glad that something will be done about this.

Wheels in Motion

I began my day with a 20 minute drive to get x-rays done. They were long x-rays, to be able to view my entire spine. Not only that, we did flex x-rays, basically with me leaning to the side and back and such. It was uncomfortable, it was early, but at least we got it done.

I had to take hydrocodone at work today, since I've been going non-stop since 7 AM and I'm completely worn out because of it. I'm still feeling some residual effects and it's not that pleasant. I suppose it's better than being in pain.

My orthopedic surgeon appointment was at 2 today. We looked at my x-rays, and then he talked to me about my schedule for the rest of the year. He then told me to think very seriously about the surgery, and that he's going to begin looking at all of the x-rays to determine the best course of surgery. I will go back on the 26th of March. That is when we will begin to schedule things.

So, at this point, I need to find another surgeon to give me the second opinion that my dad is asking for. I somehow have to get this pulled off in the next two weeks, before spring break.

I don't have copies of the x-rays to post. They're really not anything too special.

Things are starting to finally move forward. I'm glad.